The Self-Help Journey (That Wasn’t in the Plan!)
Most of us don’t start out on a self-development journey with a clear map in hand.
More often, we find ourselves drifting into it sideways — prompted by some quiet internal nudge, a difficult moment, or a sense that something inside us is asking for change.
We think we’re buying a “steamboat” — something with power, direction and purpose — but instead, we find ourselves on a leaky raft called personal growth, bailing water with one hand and Googling answers with the other.
In truth, human development is rarely neat or linear. We like to imagine it as a staircase: each step a course, a breakthrough, a better habit. But in my experience, it feels more like learning to float in unpredictable weather. One day you’re calm and confident; the next, you’re tipped sideways by a passing comment or some old fear you thought you’d long outgrown.
From Siddhartha to Sarcasm: What’s Actually Helped
I’ve spent a fair bit of time reflecting on this over the years.
Some of the books I encountered in my teens—The Road Less Travelled, Siddhartha, Brave New World—gave me a language for that search, even if I didn’t always know how to apply it. Later, I dipped into frameworks, theories, and modern approaches to self-awareness and leadership. Some helped. Some didn’t. Most made more sense in hindsight than in the moment.
What I’ve come to believe is this: true development is less about fixing ourselves and more about learning how to be with ourselves. To stay afloat, even when the sea is uncertain. To be curious, not just competent. And to know the difference between a life raft and a real sense of direction.
Meaningful self-development books
The Poem That Floated Up
Those that know me well know I occasionally write, mostly overly dark and pessimistic poetry! This one is a little lighter so potentially okay to share without causing any psychological harm to anyone! It came from that place of reflection – a slightly bewildered take on self-esteem, self-help, and all the awkward beauty of becoming a more whole version of oneself.
It’s funny because it’s true!
And it’s a little tender because, like many of us, I’m still learning how to sail this thing…
If you’ve ever found yourself spinning in circles, second-guessing your progress, or rolling your eyes at the latest “life hack” while secretly hoping it works – this one’s for you:
I Bought Myself A Steam Boat
I bought my self-esteem boat,
A typo, really, truth be told.
I meant to get a simple skiff but
They said this one was good as gold.She came with sails of “Yes, You Can!”
The deck stamped simply “Learn to Thrive.”
The manual read “Be Love, Be Man”,
And I guess at least I tried.She floated fine when I tested fate,
Though slightly tilted to the side.
I told myself, “You’re doing great,”
While Googling, ‘How do boats decide?’The sea was deep with aging doubts,
And waves kept asking, “Who are you?”
I answered with a nervous shrug,
The self-reflecting thing to do.The deck was cluttered with history,
Childhood fears, half-done plans,
A tatty box of Impostor Thoughts
And dreams I never quite began.She rocked with every passing doubt,
Each breath of feedback less secure,
And though I tried to steer with clout,
Sarcasm patched a broken oar.I tried affirmations to the stars,
But stars are cold and don’t reply.
I offered them my “growth mindset”,
They sent me back a silent sky.Still on I navigate churning drink,
Patched-up hopes and half a map,
Becoming quite adept, I think,
At blaming all the usual crap.Some days she glides. Some days she spins.
Some days I can barely raise my mast.
But here I am, afloat enough,
Not drowning but nor evolving…fast.So if you spot me from the shore,
Still bailing doubts to stay afloat.
Just know I never hid my flaws,
I only meant to buy a boat.
Calibrating self-esteem!
And Now, Over to You
So here’s a question:
What have you found actually helpful in your own journey of self-understanding or growth?
Was there a book, idea, person, or even a mistake that shaped you in some lasting way?
I’d love to hear what helped you stay afloat.
__________
Rob Bishop is the Director of Bishop, Executive Search Consultant and apparently occasional poet!
rob@bishopassociates.co.nz | +64 3 2650 666